Trust is so important... I believe even MORE important than belief!
I know that seems contrary to what everyone else is saying, especially when it comes to healing any kind of chronic situation in your health or life...
But hear me out and then tell me what you think!
Here's the Facebook Live video I did about it recently. Feel free to share.
Firstly HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
What a freaking crazy year its been.
I always like to spend the final weeks of December reviewing and reflecting on my challenges and achievements, and every year things seem to get more amazing.
Christmas time always seems to be a time to look back an notice how we want things to be for the year to come. Its so important to take care of our hearts at this time of year. The poor darlings can take a beating in so many ways!
I wonder how this year has been for you?
What are you going to consciously create for next year?
If you're like me, there are probably a dozen or more major milestones you can identify where it seems your entire identity shifted and leveled up... whether because of an 'energetic squeeze' through adversity, or a blissful awakening to higher realms of understanding. For me definitely been a lot of both!
The squeeze and expansion thing is part of being human though isn't it?
A trauma specialist that I follow talks about a thing called 'post traumatic growth' or PTG. It's the type of personal development and spiritual evolution that happens on the back of a traumatic or struggle or major life crisis... you know, when you are squeezed and pushed and sort of forced to grow as a person as a result of adversity.
Now I'm not wishing trauma, stress or suffering on anyone, and it is absolutely NOT necessary to have horrible adverse events in order to grow and evolve... NO NO NO!
It's just that PTG is something I'm really familiar with... and have gotten really good at!
I can assure you I would rather not to have had the trauma and stress because it has certainly taken its toll of course... bouncing back better than before has taken a huge amount of time, trial and error, education, experimentation, building a rock solid life-skills-set and a collection of powerful tools, falling down, picking myself back up again.
At times I wanted to quit and just wallow in my misery.
The thing is, trauma isn't necessarily a single BIG thing that hits us like a freight train and flattens us.
>>> listen to this short audio to understand more about big and little traumas
Trauma can be the consistent and persistent stress of cumulative mis-alignment with our authentic self, the denial of our dreams, the whittling down of our energy reserves from daily physical pain, the nagging inner doubts we listen to on a loop at night, or the relentless criticism from a parent or partner.
In fact its these 'little traumas' that are harder to deal with and it seems a bi-product of a society skewed towards consumerism and externalisation.
I am noticing that the world at large is struggling, that we're facing far more disharmony as a society than ever before, and that we as individuals are riding ever increasingly huge and rapid waves of change.
The nature of humans is to resist change... this causes 'little trauma' too.
Our resistance to change (to growth) causes stress and trauma to become lodged in our energy system, and then to manifest as dis-ease in our mind and body.
We can either go with it, or try to stay the same! (which by the way is not possible... because change is inevitable remember?!)
When we resist changing our beliefs, our values, our behaviours, our lifestyle... those things that are now out of alignment with the person we are becoming, we force a kind of inner trauma on ourselves... stress happens... pain happens.
From experience I can tell you that this stress is like a boil waiting to burst. the more you leave it, ignore it, deny it, the more painful and inflamed it becomes until it bursts! That's what we call a healing crisis AND ITS UGLY!
I figure, if we must have trauma, adverse events, struggles and strife in life, why not make the most of those and come out of it better than before;
generally better than we were before
This is exactly WHY I do what I do... I've worked out HOW TO USE my trauma and stress as a launching pad to better myself!
Yep sure, I did it the hard way... I resisted change and the energy patterns of my trauma caused illness.
But here's the kicker... because I have done the groundwork and learned how to be skillful, how to leverage pain, struggle and suffering to accelerate personal growth, spiritual evolution and raise the frequency of life to new heights of awesome...
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WASTE TIME, EFFORT or MONEY like I did. You can SHORTCUT the process of beautiful, graceful, enlightening personal evolution on the back of my efforts!
It makes my heart sing to watch the brilliance of the light that shines through the cracks and scars of pain in those I work with.
It makes my own struggle WORTH EVERYTHING to see how my clients lift out of the agony of emotional turmoil, chronic pain and exhausting struggle... and in such an amazingly short time!
I notice in my clients that it is not always the pain of an event that causes the stress and trauma to get stuck in their energy system.
In most cases, it is the misalignment between their true, authentic and eternal selves, and... its the gap between the amazing, limitless, light-filled beings that they truly and the reality of the life they are currently living which seems to result in inner conflict and turmoil.
So... I'm scheduling my 2018 calendar of Free Online Training, Workshops, Energy Coaching and a Energy Elevation Immersion Retreat in a secret location (oooh I can't WAIT for this one) with this in mind.
2018 is the year to FIND OUT WHO YOU REALLY ARE underneath the weight of stress, trauma and struggle and let your light out! I want you to SHINE out of every crack and crevice, to illuminate your soul with fresh aliveness and break free of the limits you think you have!
And the transformational processes will be FULLY LEVERAGED for greatest impact in as short a time-frame as possible!
This is my heartfelt Christmas wish for you - I know how it feels to fly, and I want you to feel it too.
So... I ask again...
What do you want for yourself in 2018?
What kind of life are you going to consciously create from now on?
What dreams have you been holding off because of trauma, stress, anxiety, fear or pain?
Are you ready, willing and open to transforming your current reality into something amazing?
Are you ready to commit, 100% to doing the work to shine out and never look back (unless its to see how freaking far you've come in such a short time!)?
You can choose!
You get to CHOOSE to release the past from your mind/body/energy, and CREATE the life you want!
I can't wait for 2018 to kick off. Its going to be a game changer!
Register now for the FREE online workshop "Consciously Create 2018: Me Mapping to Manifest a life by Design" will teach you exactly how to consciously create your year. It's gonna be awesome! Thursday 4th Jan, 2018 @ 8pm (QLD time).
>>> Register here for the free online workshop
A while back I published a post titled Chronic Pain: It's all in the head. Not something we're keen to hear and it may have upset a few people.
Because when we are in pain, it is all consuming. The idea that it is something we can control is a bit (or a lot!) affronting.
Certainly, pain is no laughing matter and we do take it seriously... but recovery is something we can get behind! that's why you need to watch Lorimer Moseley. He holds a PhD in pain management and you can read more about his bio here if it takes your fancy.
The most importantly, in spite of his credentials, he explains the hard and fast research on the origins and workings of pain with much needed levity, AND why you can recover from chronic pain for good!!! YES... YOU MUST WATCH THIS! Enjoy.
Making big positive changes to a well entrenched lifestyle is sometimes tricky, and certainly takes time, often with many, many false starts!
We kick off well, but as time progresses our normal Modus Operandi tends to creep in again and we slowly slip back into old ways.
Sometimes we lose hope that we'll ever be able to change to the extent and in the way we want.
And yet again we regress.
This is why, when helping clients to make sustainable changes to their health and lifestyle, I teach them about my 80/20 rule.
It really is the golden rule to making changes that stick!
The key is to do the desired activity only 80 percent of the time. The other 20 percent, let yourself relax, don't beat yourself up over not having 100% stuck to your resolve.
Yep... I said it... 100% is out... 'near enough IS good enough' is totally IN!
I know... this flies in the face of convention, motivational and inspirational speaking, pep talks and all those well meaning, hardcore boot-camp style programs and tips.
And believe me, doing less than perfect, being less than perfect takes practice! This rule is AWESOME for people who have perfectionist tendencies, and have been raised to believe that you have to do better than your best all the time or you're failing. You'll also be the ones who struggle most with this rule!
We are the ones who work too long, too hard, check details too many times, beat ourselves up when we don't do enough, are not enough, have not enough.
I did this! And at times, still do.
I had big issues with it to start with! But as I went along, I realised that I spend so much of my time beating myself up about 'failing' to make the right changes 100% of the time, that I was making things worse and making it WAY harder to stick to the desired change.
My mindset was terrible! My internal dialog went something like this... "you're not doing it right. You're never going to be able to do this. You stuffed it up again. What makes you think you can do this? You might as well quit now. What's the point, you've failed again." etc.
Now, most people are smart enough to realise this kind of inner dialogue is not only counterproductive, but harmful too!
Let's face it, this kind of self talk was probably a big contributor to why it took me so long to make the Lifestyle improvements I was aiming for.
I find that clients who have a long history of high stress, have perfectionist parents or a critical spouse, or have had high levels of childhood trauma have a lot of this kind of dialogue.
So... the 80/20 rule is a trick that you can apply to your brain to get around your negative self-dialogue (and that of a critical parent/spouse).
When you consciously decide to ONLY do your change 80 percent of the time and give yourself a break the other 20%, suddenly your brain starts noticing that you are achieving your goal... the diminishing self talk starts to ease.
You'll also notice it is EASIER to get some traction on those habits you're wanting to break.
If you try the 80/20 rule and you're still not sticking to your plan for lifestyle change, it is likely you have some unconscious, deep, core belief systems that are sabotaging your efforts and on some level part of you is attached to you stay in your old ways.
If this happens, you could try a 50/50, or 70/30 rule until the changes become easy and then work your way up to 80/20 (which eventually creates lasting change). The Caveat... This might work for some people, but in my experience there is not enough of a shift into the new lifestyle to see any real improvements, and the defeatist self talk can kick in again.
80/20 really is the Golden Rule.
If you know you want the change and are really frustrated with not being able to even do 80/20, you might also like to consider working with a practitioner to find the cause of the difficulties you have making change, and pull them out by the roots! It's likely you have a very ingrained energy pattern that needs an external person to see and manoeuvre around so that you can reprogram your mindset.
So... here's an example.
I want to cut out grains from my diet
80% of the week I will not eat food with grains... that means 5 out of 7 days I have grain free meals
80% of each day, I will not eat grains and 20% of the time I allow myself a grain food.
You decide. Part of the beauty of this rule is that you get to decide the best way to apply the 80/20 rule.
I want to change my negative programming and develop a more positive mindset
80% of the time, I change my sentence out loud if I catch myself staying something negative, and I turn it around.
20% of the time I know that I am doing my best, and sometimes it is good to 'get it out of my system' and talk about what is getting me down.
You see?! It's easy if you go easy!
Self punishment must be OUT if we're going to sustain our changes
What are your thoughts on the 80/20 rule? Have you tried to make changes and 'failed'? Do you get help for making changes stick or try to go it alone? Please feel free to comment below or click share and contribute to the conversation on facebook :)